Ringing out with Angels

Yay, me! Teresa at Fallen Angel Reviews graced Key West Magic with five divine angels! What better way to say goodbye to a good year?

“Ms. Cullen has once again written a story with unique characters that jump from the pages and hold the reader spellbound from the very start.”

Buy the book, on sale now.

The Things You Do For Love (of Writing)

You know those “aha” moments? I get them a lot. This one has been sneaking up on me for a long time, but I’ve pushed it down again and again. I jokingly like to call myself the best reviewed/worst selling author I know. Not quite true on either count.

I think a lot of us wonder what we might be doing wrong, and we get a TON of advice–write the book of your heart, go to a conference, westerns are hot, whatever. The one thing that beginning writers (I consider myself one) do NOT want to hear: write a better book. How do you do that?

Enter the little voice I’ve been shoving down. Admit that you are powerless over…oh, wait, that’s another topic. Humility. Admit you haven’t written a book worthy of the attention you seek. You might feel you’ve come close, might feel you’re getting closer. Sure, your book is as good as anything on the bookstore shelves. Then why didn’t the 40 or so agents you shopped it to think so? “I didn’t quite love it,” they replied. You became a little indignant, a bit hurt, perhaps even gave up.

Think of it this way: Derek Jeter. Just a name out of a hat. Third baseman, Yankees. Good third baseman. Natural athlete–poetry in motion. He probably could have played a number of sports, but he’s good at baseball. At some point, however, he picked up a bat for the first time. Someone threw him a ball, he swung, and he missed. He got better. It took years. No one ever got called to the Show without logging in the time.

You’ll argue that there are those wunderkind who sell their first novel and go from welfare to billionaire in a flash. Rare stuff. I used to open the “first sales” report and see statements like “Sally has been writing for 8 years” and wonder why the hell it took her so long. Can I get an amen on this one?

The way I look at it (with my new improved probably temporary humility), I’m right on track. After three years, I am just beginning to understand what I don’t know about writing. I figure, that’s not terrible. Hell, I just figured out what POV really was after a year, still working on showing rather than telling, trying to break out of cliches. Writing is a LOT of work.

It helps to be creative, literate, intelligent, and driven (I’m not especially driven, or haven’t been to this point). Because if you admit you’d like to be called up to the Show, then you might have to deal with it not happening. I’ve been hiding behind this cloaking device called “hobby.” It’s been my safety net. I can give up writing anytime, and I won’t feel bad about it, because it’s a hobby. I stopped martial arts, ballet, many other things.

But that’s a copout, and I’m copping to the copout. I want to succeed. I want to write a better book. I want to write a great book, one that sells very well.

How about you? Are you hiding behind anything?

Resolving to Write

I love a new year. It gives you this chance to con yourself into thinking things will be different. The running shoes will get broken in. The pounds will fall off, and you’ll get into that pair of jeans. You won’t waste so much time surfing the net, you absolutely won’t do it at work, and you’ll really do all sorts of things to earn straight “A”s in life. Ahem.

Why set myself up for disappointment? My quads will scream at me for a while from doing three miles after not running at all for months, and then I’ll go back to chastising myself. (Gonna do it anyway today LOL).

Then there’s the magical thinking resolution: somehow despite the fact that there are still 24 hours in a day, that I still have a full time job, I will be able to write much, much more. Now honestly, that’s just crazy talk.

Or is it? I’ve thought a lot about this while I’ve not been writing. I’m nearly finished with every contracted work. Almost a clean slate. I haven’t had one of those in three, going on four years. I look back at what I’ve written, and know damn well I can do much better. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bitching about being published.

What do you do with a clean slate? I plan to write a better book. No matter how long it takes, or where it takes me. I won’t pitch it to anyone until it’s finished to my satisfaction. Because if I’ve learned anything in the last few years, it’s that it’s not worth spending your valuable time on writing something that doesn’t sing to your soul. It won’t sing to anyone else’s. Of course, we all know that.

What are you resolving to do or not do this coming year?

A Baltimore Christmas

We went last weekend to the drive-thru light show sponsored at a local farm. It was tacky/wonderful. I listened this morning to the badabing Christmas song on the radio. And for our party yesterday, we had pies (that means pizza to the rest of you). My MIL Philomena bakes up a storm, and her stuff is Italian, even though she thinks the family gave up the old country a generation ago (despite the fact that all her siblings were born there). They scream and yell and kiss and hug and cry, so much so that the depressed Irish Catholic in me goes cowering into a corner for some solitude until the storm has passed. The lights in my multicultural neighborhood are a very odd mixture of stuff–from modern Target reindeer to old-fashioned items that look like they came from the Fifties, and probably did.

When I arrive in Baltimore in the next few days, it will look pretty much the same. The cars won’t be as nice, and there will be even more ornaments from the Fifties. You know, those “big” bulbs, not the little twinkly ones. I love the big ones.

Because, of course, those are the lights of my childhood. I remember my brothers coming home from midnight mass (both altar boys), coming to my room to get me to sleep by telling me that they’d seen Santa as they walked the ten city blocks, and if I didn’t close my eyes, he’d pass right by the house, just like the Goodyear blimp did.

I remember waking up to find a Little Lulu doll, and if that weren’t enough, she was in her own stroller. That’s the year I got a second gift, too. A grey stuffed elephant. I named him Harry Elephante, because that was what I thought the singer’s name was.

That is the last magical Christmas I remember. The rest got kinda blurry, with family strife, struggles, and losses. The stuff that happens to all of us.

I stopped into the campus church today–a nondemonitional demi-cathedral that looks for all the world like any Catholic church. I knelt, crossed myself, and asked God if any of His story as we tell it is true. I have a few decades to get this straight in my head (I know a bunch of you would disagree with me). I didn’t hear any voices, but a family came in, and a little girl ran to the front and squealed at the prettiness of the place. Just for a moment, I remembered the feeling of pure, unfettered joy. Of wonder, of discovery. For just a second, it felt like it did when I was a tow-headed skinny little thing, clinging to Harry and Little Lulu.

My goal for this Christmas is to tell my mother how magical that Christmas was, and how much I appreciate all she did for me. It never seemed like enough, what with this “issue” and that “issue.” But crickey, she created magic out of very little money, very little time (as she worked two jobs), and a very fragile state of being.

I hope you all remember the best Christmas you ever had, and create a new one for someone else this year. And for those of you who don’t celebrate, thanks for humoring the rest of us. Merry Christmas.

Images and Words

The artist.

This is how I feel today, what I want to write. They’re chatting at Dear Author about romance covers. But I’d like to write a book with this as my cover. Doesn’t much look like a romance does it, although it’s incredibly romantic. At times, I feel as if the only way I can express what I’d like to write is to look at it on canvas or in a gallery. What is the connection of these two kinds of images? I think I’ll do an old trick from elementary school before I start my next WIP–a collage.

Juror Number 2 vs. Romance Blogs

In the case of Mr. Doolittle versus big bad corporate giant, the jury wanted desperately to award the plaintiff something for his pain and suffering. Because he was the underdog, a nice old guy who wouldn’t lie about events. Nevermind that his lawyer was an ambulance-chasing slimebag (my interpretation, not a proven fact), that the plaintiff’s doctors were both confused about the diagnosis and saw the patient years after the event, that the story changed at least five times over four days. The witnesses (for both sides) were under oath. You can’t lie under oath. You can only tell the facts.

But someone lied. Because both sides of the event could not have been true.

The judge spoke at length to the jury about the difference between facts, inferences, and opinions. He spoke of dispassionately weighing facts, of dismissing in part or in full the opinions of witnesses if we found their credibility or demeanor in question. We came to a decision.

Despite the inconvenience to my normal routine, jury duty was a great experience. So, knowing what you know about the writers of various blogs, would you accept their interpretation of certain facts without questioning them? Do disgruntled writers make good witnesses? I dunno, I was one once. I told the truth. But the whole truth, exactly as it happened? Um, can’t really remember.

I am questioning some sweeping statements, such as:
1. Small epublishers do not produce high-quality books. Hmmn, maybe not all of them. But I’ve reviewed a few stories here that have been great reads. My personal experience tells me that this generalization is a bit suspect.

2. We don’t need any more small press start-ups. They will fold after producing poor-quality books. Firstly, the quality issue is subjective, by the standards the judge outlined to the jurors. Second, wonder if EC, Loose ID, and Samhain were big starting day 1? Sure, they may have had wonderful leaders at the helm, but some other new companies may as well. Writers should be wary, but I don’t think it’s fair to lump them all together. Let the market decide. To suggest that three “good” companies are enough–that smacks of New Jersey politics, and that ain’t good.

3. EC used to be good and isn’t anymore. That’s a subjective opinion. The market will decide, of course.

4. Anything x, y, or z author says is cool and true. Don’t argue with them, because they are wise and have sold contracts to big companies. At the trial, I found a big name physician to be totally self-contradictory. Some self-appointed “expert” witnesses, these authors who frequent writing blogs, often seem more hell-bent on getting attention than presenting a studied, sound opinion. Others are spectacular at it. Just cause Nora says it’s so doesn’t make it so. Except, of course, in her case it does.

5. In the United States, one is innocent until proven guilty. In the meantime, it’s probably best to keep your mouth shut and unplug your computer.

6. Cases are judged and the decisions are final (at least in most civil cases). It doesn’t do much good to rehash them. A bad review is a thing forever, but it won’t mean a thing in a hundred years. Someone’s alleged drinking binge, personal vendettas, unguided heat-seeking missile attacks…they all fade away.

7. It doesn’t matter how much you make fun of someone, or how clever you are. It won’t change the facts or make you right if you’re wrong.

Okay, so I haven’t made my points so very well, but I’m burnt. Just saying that everyone has an opinion, but it wouldn’t hold up in court. Be really careful who you believe. That kindly very old man in my court case was not telling the truth.

EPPIE FINALIST!

Oh, heck, let it snow! This is a good day ) My jury duty is over (we reached a verdict). And I came home in the sleet to an email saying that Love’s Alchemy, published with Loose ID, finaled in the erotic fantasy/paranormal category! I’m really humbled by this, and want to congratulate the other finalists and everyone who nervously entered!

Yay! My first EPPIE finalist. I’m a happy cat today.

Oy Vey!

Got a really nice review for Key West Magic from the Giggler! Yay, me!

I’ll be in and out. Called to serve–I like jury duty, but this time of year? Phew!

How Old is Too Old to Write?

I’m blogging today at Romance Junkies’ new blogspot. Stop by and leave a comment for a chance to win Key West Magic. Crickey, I’m everywhere today! )

Winners! Santas and reindeers and snowmen oh my!

Wow, 26 winners today. The grand prize winner is Caitlin Hoy! Caitlin, you won a lovely reindeer pin that I’m dying to keep ;o) but will send to you! You also have a choice of a signed print book or three ebooks (Key West Magic excluded).

Thanks to everyone who entered! I simply chose every other name (after eliminating duplicates), and you all will receive in the mail a holiday jewelry piece. NOTE: if there’s an asterisk next to your name, please email your snail mail address at ciar@ciarcullen.com:

Lauren Wirum*
Tammy Popek
Maura*
Eva Minaskanian
PamK*
Beth Reimer
Glenna Day*
Aimee*
Phyllis Crabtree*
Liz Denler
Teresa (from FAR)*
Debra Guyette
Christy Poff*
Kelly (kmwr2003)*
Kathy (kat1reader)*
Laurie Damron*
Eva Silkka (all the way from Finland!)
Crystal Adkins*
Fiona Cordner
Judy Cox
Elf-Addict*
Valerie Bongards* (I have your address somewhere, but please send again!)
Huguette English*
Angel Durham*
Sarah McNeal*

Thanks to everyone who entered! Now don’t forget to buy Key West Magic today!