Release Dates = Happy Times

On the happy time list for writers, less exciting than an acceptance and a trifle less exciting than a cover! But I have three release dates:
June: The Prince’s Bride, tongue-in-cheek(s) erotic fantasy novella from Loose ID
July: Love’s Alchemy, an urban fantasy novel, from Samhain
September: The Egyptian Demon’s Keeper, paranormal erotic novella from Samhain

Keep tuned for the blurbs and covers!

This is a call to all my past reservations

Any chance to use a Foo Fighters lyric…

This goes out to the ones I love. The small press writers who are flailing around right now. In my work Steamside Chronicles, I describe sliding to 1890 like getting thrown to the bottom of the surf and being scraped on the sand, not knowing which way is up.

What are your writing goals? Are they the same as say, a year ago, when there was some veneer left on the economy?

A good friend is at a conference pitching today. Her writing is great. What are the chances these days, that she’ll get that agent, that pub contract, sell through, write a second, a third? I don’t know. Are the chances worse than they were a year ago? Probably.

If publishing news hasn’t made you change course slightly (perhaps embracing your small press contracts more, petting them and telling them how pretty they are), then perhaps life has gotten in the way of writing bliss. This time last year I was in a kind of stop animation state, waiting for my mom to die. Many writer friends have lost their jobs, their houses, or spouses have. I can think off the top of my head of about six writer friends going through a divorce.

The boot camp writers like to power through these times. I’m not like that. My creativity shrinks to something you need an electron microscopae to see when my heart is tortured by personal circumstances.

But, there’s something we all can count on. Things change. That I guarantee, and you can come back to me in a year for your portion of the Cullen fortune if I’ve told an untruth.

Your hardship will change. It might get worse for a while, and then better. You might land a job on Monday. Or perhaps you’ll need to move in with relatives.

Publishing is changing. Can you hang in there long enough to see if you and publishing can have a meaningful relationship? The good news is that writing will be there for you, when you are ready for it. Will a contract? I don’t know. But I know that if you love to write, nothing, absolutely nothing, can take that away from you. You will still have that love, no matter the economy, or family crisis. If it’s part of who you are, then you carry it with you through all circumstances. If it’s not part of who you are, then there’s no crime in putting it down. Life is short. Don’t angst over things that won’t mean a thing in a few years. Honestly. I’m trying, I am.

Are you hanging in there? What are your goals?

A Few of My Favorite Things

I don’t do Thursday Thirteens anymore, because I seem to be committed to social networking suicide. Bad, bad romance writer.

Anywho, Spring has this effect on me, even if it’s still below 50. Sandals, beach bars, and Shag. Not “shagging”–although if there’s an opportunity…

But the artist known only as Shag. I’ve never talked about my Mid-Century fixation, all things 50s-60s Vegas, doo-wop, and well, Shag. I think he’s simply brilliant, and I’d kill to own one of his originals to put behind my tiki mug collection.

Sigh. My birthday’s coming up…

Would Audrey Twitter?

I’m increasingly frustrated by a lot of things, and it was actually Twitter that pushed me over the edge. I know I’m supposed to be there, networking and walking folks through my really interesting day. It’s not me. And it’s not me to watch others talk to one another about their interesting days. “Getting on the bus.” I mean, I might be somewhat interested if my husband were in Hong Kong and communicated that to me.

I trust my friends will tell me if someone twitters that they’re looking for just the book I’m writing. In the meantime, I think I’ll sit back, do my day job, and spend my time writing. When Twitter figures out what it’s going to turn in to, I may check it out again.

Now I just want to luxuriate in the following, “Beauty advice from Audrey Hepburn.”

For attractive lips, Speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, Seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, Share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, Let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, Walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a Woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows.

And the beauty of a woman, with passing years only grows!

Shhh…DND

I’m in the writing cave. Sorry to be a lamo blogger, but I’ll be back after edits, rewrites, edits, writing, and some edits. )

Booksigning Reminder!

You are cordially invited to drop by my neck of the woods and snack on wine, cheese, and other goodies! Fabulous authors will chat about romance and spread gossip about you if you don’t show up! Come and support one of the few remaining independent bookstores in New Jersey.
Where: The Princeton Shopping Center, Princeton New Jersey, Chicklet Books
When: March 21, Saturday, 5-9pm
Who: Yours truly, Jackie Kessler, Toni Andrews, Stella Price, Tilly Greene, Allie Boniface, Cat Johnson, Leigh Ellwood, and Selena Illyria.
What: Books, gift baskets, and all sorts of schwag!

Query fail jitters

I know, of course I know, that a query is the “do/do not pass go” of publishing. I never had trouble with them before witnessing the recent queryfail Twitter thingamagig.

Sometimes, all the advice can become paralyzing. I know to use a person’s name, not to tell them I’m the next Stephen King, or to assure them I’ve written a bestseller. Pretty sure I’ll automatically include my contact info, say nice friendly things, and keep it short and to the point.

Oy, why oh why did I Twitter?

Wish me luck.

Missing Kitty Cullen

I miss my Mom. It’s been six months, sometimes feeling like six years, sometimes like six minutes. Don’t care much if this is too personal. I’ll do a few special private things to help get over those little hurdles (a big one coming up–St. Paddy’s Day). Anywho, I thought I’d pen one thing for each year she was alive. She taught some with words, some by example, and some by regret.
Items marked with an asterisk are likely a product of being born in 1926.

So here are 84 things I learned from my mother:
1. Seashells are treasures.
2. How to read.
3. How to love reading.
4. That it’s better to age gracefully. (No real advice on how to do that.)
5. Only whores wear red nail polish.*
6. Only whores wear red shoes.*
7. Fish and company smell after three days.
8. If you lose something, pray to St. Anthony.
9. Nothing truly good ever came of alcohol consumption.
10. The Virgin Mary won’t appear to you if you ask her not to. (This was actually a fear of mine as a child.)
11. Don’t plant your garden until Mother’s Day.
12. With your last dollar, feed the birds.
13. Listen to every major opera and ballet, more than once. Be able to identify them.
14. The world is going to hell in a handbasket.
15. There can never be too many episodes of Cops. (We differed on this one.)
16. The best looking actor, ever, was Gregory Peck. (I agree.)
17. If you bang yourself, rub it hard and the pain will go away quicker.
18. There are only Maryland crabcakes.
19. A good therapist is worth his/her weight in gold.
20. Some are born to be moms. It’s okay if you aren’t one of them.
21. Don’t marry a man expecting that he’ll change.
22. Don’t have a baby to keep a man.
23. It can take a lifetime to love yourself.
24. It can take a lifetime to learn to express yourself.
25. Anything you grow yourself tastes better.
26. Shake your rugs out front so everyone knows you’re cleaning.
27. Your rugs are the only dirty thing to air out front.
28. Remember that there is pain in every household. Forgive people.
29. You’re lucky if you go to your grave having had one good friend.
30. You’re stronger than you think.
31. Math sucks. (Not her words precisely).
32. Egyptology is cool.
33. Ghosts exist.
34. The Catholic Church can let you down, but it doesn’t mean you should lose faith.
35. Sunshine on laundry is the nicest smell.
36. Always write a thank you note.
37. Always greet a new acquaintance with “How do you do?”
38. If you are a child, stand when introduced to an adult. If you are a man, stand when introduced to anyone.
39. Football died the day the Colts left Baltimore.
40. Don’t buy what you can’t afford. If you’re buying on credit, you probably can’t afford it. (I forgot this one until recently.)
41. Honor your promises. (Hmnn.)
42. Always root for Navy and for Notre Dame.
43. You’re never too old for silliness.
44. Cats are funny.
45. Dogs are annoying.
46. Sprinkle your ironing with water and put it in the refrigerator.*
47. Don’t put fruit in stuffing. It’s just wrong.
48. People in nursing homes can skip purgatory–they’ve done their time already.
49. Trust everything a doctor says.* (She changed this at the end of her life.)
50. Clowns are troublesome. Avoid them.
51. It’s not going to kill you to be barefoot in the snow for a few minutes, as long as you’re doing it to feed the birds.
52. When leaves turn upside down, it’s going to rain.
53. Cherish the lonely season of late Fall.
54. Old movies are the best.
55. Learn to play an instrument.
56. Don’t drop in on anyone without calling first.
57. Wearing black makes you look older.
58. Don’t put liner under your eyes–you’ll look like white trash. (Her words, not mine.)
59. Pray each night for those in anguish.
60. Even bums on the street had moms. Be nice to them.
61. Don’t open the door after dark.
62. Don’t talk back to your parents.
63. A little coffee is a good thing.
64. Ten minutes of studying in the morning is better than an hour at night when you’re tired. (This has actually been proven in recent studies.)
65. Send postcards any time you travel.
66. Call when you get home.
67. Make sure you tip the garbage man and the ice man at Christmas.*
68. Wear Chanel #5.
69. Slippers are for weak people.
70. Walk on an isolated beach to speak with God.
71. Worry is part of the human condition.
72. The Germans are ruthless people.*
73. The Middle Ages are fascinating.
74. Tell stories, lots of them.
75. Listen as if you care, whether you do or not.
76. Don’t hang up on someone to take another call.
77. Use the good china and silver every day.
78. Give alms to the poor.
79. Be able to recite many famous poems.
80. Put an orange in the bottom of a Christmas stocking.*
81. Read all the history you can.
82. Write your memoirs before it is too late. (Alas…)
83. Believe in miracles.
84. Believe we’ll meet again.

The author as reviewer

Project: Fail. I offered to review books of colleagues with the intent of posting a review every Tuesday. The project is off, and I have deleted remaining files from my computer. Reasons? Any of the following:
1. Getting nasty emails about not putting the reviews up quickly enough. (Hey, it was a favor, called promotion.) 2. Getting nasty emails when I wasn’t crazy about the book (even though I said up front I wouldn’t post a review in that case–all my reviews being recommendations). 3. Being told that I was only reviewing titles from my own publisher (I hadn’t bothered even looking at the publisher). 4. Being sent books I didn’t ask for. 5. All of the above.

So, sorry. I tried. In the future, if I read something and love it, I’ll just post a review, according to my schedule, as is my prerogative.

Note to other authors: caveat lector.

Agent/editor fail or pass?

I feel the need to tread a little lightly here. Partly because I’m an author, partly because I’m on the fence. I recently joined Twitter (the wasting internets time tunnel everything ruin–sorry, that sounds like something from Engrish). Because of my entry point (I didn’t pick Mike Patton or Nancy Pelosi, but some of my author friends), I naturally just clicked around on some I recognized and some I’m curious about.

Oh, right, I remember now. Heather at TOR did a “send me a great paranormal romance” and I watched masochistically because mine isn’t finished. A day or so later, an agent (Colleen Lindsey) and an editorial director (Angela James) did live-ish “reviews” of query letters. Kind of like the Engrish site, now that I think of it. Except they mostly were in Engrish, that is, laughable. And I did laugh. They were generally not quoted directly, and certainly no names were released. Some queries received resounding thumbs up. Not many in between, but that could be because the agent and editor used the extreme ones for instructional purposes.

Harmless fun? Great instruction on writing a query? Or are these people meanies, gloating over the power they wield, rubbing their hands together, cackling, plotting to make people feel like idiots. So sayeth agent Nathan Bransford. Well, not really. He just thinks it’s not professional to participate in such reindeer games.

Hmnn. I know Ms. James in two dimensions, and I don’t think she’s mean-spirited–far from it. I follow the Swivet because she seems cool and I like her taste in books (not many agents have ever used the word Steampunk on their blogs). She could be mean-spirited, I don’t know. But this is a tough business, and she plays the “take the heat or get out of the kitchen” approach. Bransford’s online persona is verra warm and fuzzy. (Is this an East Coast/West Coast thing?)

Authors read a lot about what not to do. Very close to What Not to Wear. You try, and you wonder if you’ll be able to keep it up on your own. Good online persona. Don’t air your dirty laundry. Don’t say anything bad about any publisher, agent, editor, other author. Don’t be political. Don’t be nonpolitical. By all means, don’t be a Christian. Must hold m/m romance in the highest regard. Be a baked potato without salt and butter.

So what are the online persona rules for agents and editors? I learned a bit from the query pass/fail thing, but then I started feeling little twinges of hurt for a few of the authors. The ones who didn’t do their homework, or the total wackos.

What are the rules for agents and editors? Do they get a pass because they hold most of the cards? I think I’m for these query pass/fail days as instruction, perhaps with a little less joyful cackling. What about you?