Madam Philomena Speaks

Oh my darlings, what to say, what to do? You know how it is–a younger friends asks if it’s a good idea to date the fellow with the long hair and tattoos because he’s dreamy and completely unavailable. My mother-in-law, Madam Philomena (not her real name) gives the most wonderful advice. She will appear on this blog on a monthly basis to offer her special readings. I do not give good advice. “Hey, I see you write for Floppy Publishing. Should I write for Floppy Publishing? What were your sales there? I heard they change editors constantly. I heard they kill ex-writers. I hear all their books are going to print tomorrow, and they guarantee you’ll be in Barnes and Noble next week. They want me to write a vampire orgy novella for their Holy Week anthology. Should I?” “Yes, of course you should!” How the hell do I know? It’s a cruel, cruel world out there, and you need to be smarter than I am. Ask a smarter, snarkier bitch than me from now on. My advice sucks. Just ask the last person who emailed me that question. And guess what, I just wrote someone about a publisher and did the same thing to her! My mid-year resolution–no stupid questions to other writers. But how else do you get this info? I have no idea, but don’t rely on the musings of a disgruntled struggling fledgling writer. Go to Barnes and Nobles and see if the books really showed up there. Join Romance Divas. Make friends with a big writer. But don’t believe anything you read here!


2 thoughts on “Madam Philomena Speaks

  1. Brenda Williamson says:

    Okay, that was insightful. Brenda is noting not to ask Ciar questions. She doesn’t have answers. Good thing I didn’t have to sit behind her in school. 🙂

    No answer can ever be right for all people when it comes to publishers. Everyone has to have their own experience.

  2. Ciar Cullen says:

    You’ve never asked me shit, and you know it. Hrumph. Okay, so maybe we asked one another. Were we right? I’m about to be sued or letter-bombed by a writer I misdirected…

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