Some of the Samhain authors have been privately sharing some pretty funny thoughts on their rejection letters from various publishing companies. They range from ridiculous comments that seem irrelevant to the submission to standard form letters that have, well, a pretty standard effect. But some are funny. I only got one scathing rejection, but that company isn’t in business anymore, so it seems kinda mean to share it. The ones that started making me crazy were agent rejections on fulls that say something like: “I didn’t love this QUITE enough.” To which you want to respond, “How much more did you need to love it, and what can I do.” I learned eventually that this was also a form letter. Don’t form-letter me hope. The one I like the most so far was from HQN’s Nocturne line: “Does not suit our current needs.” Very kind. It’s kinda like the break-up line: “It’s not you, it’s me.” George Costanza comes to mind.
I’ve been on the other side of this business in nonfiction, in which your letters typically address the market issues directly, because folks have to submit involved sales projections. I wouldn’t want to be in the place of someone having to reject a novel. You really can’t win.
What’s your funniest rejection? Or maybe you were never rejected? Oops, I mean your work was never rejected?