VOTE? How can I vote? How can I not vote?

Joe Piscopo called. (Many of you don’t know who he is, I know…) Yep, he left a voicemail on my answering machine today, telling me that he’s a Democrat but that he’s going to vote for the NJ Republican candidate. Yesterday, Al Gore called. “This is Vice President Al Gore.” I know you get to keep that title, but do you get to call me on a Saturday?

I don’t know what it’s like around your neck of the woods if you live in the US, but it’s probably about the same as it is in New Jersey. I can’t vote for Bob Menendez, because “he’s evil and is going to give all your social security money to illegal immigrants.” I can’t vote for Rick Santorum, because “he’s evil, and he’s Bush’s bitch.” There was an ad against someone named Patrick Murphy, using a tone usually reserved for five year olds on the playground. Evidently he eats children while they’re still alive. That’s pretty evil.

Unfortunately, we pick up both New York and Philadelphia ads too, and all those people are evil. Evidently Satan is controlling all the candidates this election.

I have voted in every election for which I’ve been eligible, even when I lived in Greece and England, and that was no small thing to get those ballots done. I usually don’t vote for the winner, but if I do, they generally turn out to be losers anyway.

I’m not liberal, I’m not conservative. I’d like the government to run efficiently, and for social programs that make sense to work. I don’t care if gays want to get married and call it marriage in New Jersey. Let them. Don’t tie up our tax dollars debating it for the next decade. They’re adults; they pay taxes. I don’t want the tax cut reversed, and I don’t want another Vietnam (but I’m not smart enough to know the right thing to do regarding Iraq).

I don’t want Joe or Al to call here again, I want John Kerry to get his scripts down tighter in the future, and I want someone to vote for who isn’t the devil. They say Obama may run in the presidential election. Just wait til they find out about his satanic cult.

Maybe it’s time for this country to become a monarchy? Cause if these clowns are the best a “democratic” system has to offer…


5 thoughts on “VOTE? How can I vote? How can I not vote?

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hmm….your’s is the second post I’ve read recently about this Joe Piscopo fellow….he hasn’t called me……(the beauty of not having a landline!)
    Very well said! Where do we FIND these people who run for office?????
    (forgot my password….have to be anonymous today)

  2. Amanda Brice says:

    I hate to admit it, but I LOVE attack ads. I think they’re hysterical and a real sign of desperation. Of course, I live for this time of year, so I’m weird.

    I don’t ahve a land line, so no phone calls for me.

  3. Jennifer Elbaum says:

    What did I do wrong? I live in NJ and I haven’t been called by Joe or Al =-(

    How will I ever know who to vote for if they don’t call me?!?!

  4. Robin L. Rotham says:

    Hey, I remember Joe, LOL! Did you tell the fargin sneaky bastage to stick it in his icehole…? (That’s from his movie Johnny Dangerously, for those of you too young to know.)

    The only one who calls us here in Nebraska is the president of the NFIB, whoever that is. I can’t wait till someone important calls so I can hang up on him. 😀 I’ve never missed an election, either, but I agree it’s getting tougher to find a decent candidate to vote for. Maybe this year I’ll just tape my ballot to the side of the booth and throw darts. The end result will no doubt be the same.

  5. Lee Rowan says:

    Would I buy a used skateboard from Joe Piscopo? Nope.

    The whole “tax cut reversal” threat is a scam–the only tax cuts that would be affected are the ones Bush handed out to his rich owners–if you make less than a quarter-mil/year ($250,000) the only difference in rolling back tax cuts will be getting back some of the taxes from the rich that go to social services like school lunch programs–which have been cut by our “compassionless conservative” government. The federal tax cuts were effectively a tax increase for most of us because the federal funding cuts were simply shifted into local tax increases.

    I don’t mind paying taxes if I get something for my money, but these jackasses—!

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