I’m not going to whine, I swear to you. I swear to myself. I’m journaling this to see if anyone who flits by here may identify with it.
How many times do you get to doubt yourself before you’re officially out of free passes? How often do you get to put off finishing a sequel because you’re afraid no one will like it? How much time are you allowed to spend wondering if you have any writing ability? What the hell will it take, or do these feelings ever go away?
Aspiring epublishing writer–pull up a chair. Unless you are one of those fearless know-it-alls, born on another star, composed of some miraculous DNA, you WILL face doubts. They can be summarized with my favorite childhood rhyme: no one loves me, everyone hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms.
So, did Ciar get a bad review? Nope. Did she not sell a book? No, she has two coming out at Samhain and one at EC pretty soon. Is it because she hasn’t broken in to NY publishing? No, she hasn’t really tried seriously.
See, I don’t think it’s about what happens to you. I think it’s that you hit stages, times when it’s time for a shift. I’m in a big one. I’m finishing up my final contracted work, Mayan Secrets. As I write the second half of that book, my mind is wandering down dangerous, dark paths. I’ve been here before, but the paths were simpler. Get published. Check. Switch companies. Check, check, double-check. Get something into print. Yeppers. Do it again. Check, check.
Now? A much bigger item on the list, one I’ve evidently written with magical ink. It appears, I cross it off, and it appears again. Write a non-romance. Or something that is romantic perhaps, but well, it’s not a romance. A fantasy. A big fat literary fantasy. How could I possibly think I’m capable of that? My inner Ciar, God bless her little snot-nosed soul, says so. At least, she knows I won’t crumble if it doesn’t work.
My question to you, readers and writers alike? Where are you? What’s next? And are you ready, should you actually succeed?