Secret Editors’ Society Gains Momentum

I’ve a theory. All editors of romances have joined forces, no matter their allegiance or level. They are chatting on an editor-only frequency of the Internet that other mortals cannot access. They vacation together on a mysterious island (big-faced volcano in the background), and drink themselves silly on a near-poisonous brew that gives them super powers.

This happened quite recently. My evidence? Well, I’m still in the research stage, but take note: on the last three books for which I’ve received edits, the marginalia have been fully devoted to comma splices. These are my 13-16th books. Not a peep about comma splices before now. Have I suddenly picked up this bad habit? I think not… hmnn… Betcha the keynote speaker at the last secret editors’ meeting spoke on comma splices.

Then there’s what I call the Giggles effect (I can’t share more than that if you don’t know what I mean). Editors want their kick-arse heroines, now more than ever. They must be able to bite off heads with their razor-like wit, rip through bar fights better than Chuck Norris, outsmart any villian, and emotionally castrate (if not literally) the hero. Oh, and it helps if they’re overweight while they’re doing their Matrix-like martial arts moves.

I’ve heard that they’re spreading rumors that historicals are back in fashion and paranormals are dying a slow death. Don’t believe this! They’re in cahoots with agents, who are trying to cut off the flow of paranormal manuscripts from epublished authors looking for greener pastures. They tell you that they’re glutted with paranormals, and then call their favorite authors and give them the real deal: more, more, more!

Don’t worry. I’m going to infiltrate this world, and get back to you with their latest plots.

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