The feminist romance?

feminist
One entry found.

Main Entry: fem·i·nism
Pronunciation: \ˈfe-mə-ˌni-zəm\
Function: noun
Date: 1895
1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
2 : organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests

I’m having a tough time with this one, so help me figure it out. I don’t know what it means to be a feminist these days. Is my husband a feminist? He believes in equal rights for people, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation (well, he has a bit of that straight male thing going on–a gay guy might WANT him–aargh), but still, he’s on board. Like a lot of guys, he doesn’t really “get” that the media and arts are rather biased–sticking to gender right now. You aren’t going to see many commercials featuring scantily clad men, etc. That crap aside, I’ve been thinking about books and Michelle Obama. She’s accomplished, but/and she’s said she puts her kids first. What do you want her to say? (I know, Karenknowsbest covered this). And then folks chime in and say they’re feminists. What does that mean now? What does it mean for writers? That you don’t have mindless airhead heroines, of course. Sure, I can see that. That your heroine has to be “kick-ass,” a term I really hate. What does that mean? It seems to be a pet peeve of Mrs. Giggles, for example. Women who are not self-actualized in some way. I’m not sure I’ve spent my life in the most kick-ass fashion. Sure, I’ve earned some male-like badges (karate, whatever…). Perhaps I banged my head on some glass ceilings and perhaps broke through a few. But I also married poorly the first time around, worked and supported a husband who was following his dream, etc. Am I not heroine-worthy material? I think sometimes romance writers, maybe reviewers, want to see women who ask no questions, take no prisoners. Sometimes I see that foul language and quick comebacks substitute for substance. Is that our ideal female? What about the weaker person, the person who hasn’t had a break, who had no role models, who does her best. What about most of our Moms? What about the Michelle Obamas? Would she be a good heroine? She just said she’ll put her kids first. What do you consider a good feminist romance, and why? Are you a feminist? Who isn’t?

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6 thoughts on “The feminist romance?

  1. I am a little nervous about commenting back because I’m very new at this, but I do think your husband is a feminist, and I think you have really good questions. My husband is a feminist, although given a situation where he was asked that question he felt a little unsure of himself in responding. I think there are varying levels and definitions of feminism. I also think that Michelle Obama’s comment about putting the kids first is more about her values as a human being versus whether or not she is a feminist. I think any woman who wants to value herself and be valued as a human being is a feminist in a way. There is a deep ailment of women (and men, but since women are the topic) not knowing what it means to take care of themselves. We are so out of touch with what really keeps us passionate and alive. If we were more aware, if we were given enough value throughout our lives, than maybe we’d be more prone to expecting our world to value us and we’d demand more. Thanks forgetting me thinking. I have a lot more to organize in my head before spouting.

  2. ciarcullen says:

    I really like the way you put it, Emily: there is a deep ailment of women (and men…) not knowing what it means to take care of themselves.

    Historically, I suppose women knew how to take care of others. I’m still working on how to take care of myself, but I have to say that the world is more supportive of my attempts than, say, it would have been of my ancestors’. Thanks for visiting!

  3. Lucinda says:

    When I was a teenager, being a feminist meant believing that women could do whatever they chose do. Yet, some women still get ripped for choosing to be SAHMs and some are automatically labeled bitches if they attain too much power. I think that this past election season proved that we still have a long way to go towards figuring out what feminism really means.

  4. Seeley deBorn says:

    I hate the way loud bitchy women who think the goal of all men is to step on them and force them to have babies have stolen the claim of feminist.

    Because of that, I refuse to call myself one. I belive in equality. I’m an egalitarian.

    My husband would never call himself a feminist, but he has claimed to be a lesbian on more than one occasion. 😉

  5. I think Diana Gabaldon did a great job of striking that balance with Claire in the Outlander books. Brianna was more of the ‘kick ass’ character you speak of but had her own foibles as well.

  6. anny cook says:

    I am a woman. I have a host of capabilities. I can pretty much do whatever I need to do to survive. I do not base my capabilities on gender, but on interests and need. Does that make me a feminist? I don’t think so. I think it simply means that I’m human.

    And I’m perfectly willing for all those individuals around me to be human, too.

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