Edward Cullen is my great-uncle. I always wondered about him.

So the conversation at Thanksgiving went something like this:
“Aunt Terry, are you related to Edward Cullen?”

Huh. How did she know that? She’s the in-law, not from my side of the family. OMG. She knows my pen name. Not suitable for this tiny tot. What if she googles me. Oh, of course she knows my pen name, because it was my mom’s real name, and I’ve been talking about mom a lot lately.

“Why yes, little Penelope, he is my great-uncle.” Her mouth a perfect O, her eyes wide, wiggling in her chair.

Snickers from around the table. Duh.

So I have this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to buy a lot of stuff that says “I love Edward Cullen” on it. My great-uncle is okay, don’t get me wrong, but that would feel kinda squicky. I can get jewelry with the family crest (sort of–trust me, that’s not quite right), Cullen bumper stickers, Cullen god-knows-what. We don’t much go in for apples and forks in the family, but I can live with those.

Who knew? I’m dying for some way to take advantage of this, but I’ve come up empty. Any ideas?


3 thoughts on “Edward Cullen is my great-uncle. I always wondered about him.

  1. Lorri-Lynne Brown says:


    How about Interview with a Vampire – the great-uncle who only comes out at night!

    Sure to be a best-seller!

  2. Lucinda says:

    Oh, that’s too funny. I haven’t read those books, because I don’t care for the vampire genre, but my niece is a fanatic over them.

  3. Foxhawke says:

    Funny how I was just putting your name and Edwards together just the other day and was going to give you a hard time about it. :>

    As for ideas… You should totally get a T-shirt. I’ve got some ideas for it:

    There’s “I’m in love with Edward Cullen. NOT my uncle. The other one.”

    “The Cullens have a very strange family tree AND I’m on it.”

    “No. I cannot get you a date with Edward Cullen. The boy doesn’t return his cousin’s calls.”

    Or you could just include a little blurb in your bio: “Ciar Cullen lives in Forks, Oregon under a constant cloud of rain and fog…. ” That would be cool to make a fake bio like that up just to trip people up.

    Ah, oh well, cracking myself up here. We all know you’re way cooler (and warmer) than those “other” Cullens.

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