Writing and Dodge Ball

Were you the popular athletic girl in school? I was the geek. It wasn’t until my late thirties that I really got physical through martial arts. But basically, I was like a walk-on in Glee through school. And trust me, I was the last to be picked in dodge ball. I really didn’t want to be picked at all, because–who the hell wants to get hit by a ball.

I think we all have times and areas of our lives in which we feel we’re still that awkward scared girl who can’t claw her way up the social ladder. Recently, I’ve been thwopped in the head every day with a reminder of how I have failed as a writer.

Today? About a dozen friends have releases at a new press–Carina. Did I write something that fit their needs? Hell no.

I saw that a friend got a contract for a steampunk romance at Samhain–and I just selfpubbed mine.

I found a very bubbly email between me and my former agent (that lasted about a month). The book about which I dare not speak sits unfinished in a folder within a folder. I don’t know if I’ll ever finish it.

I never got good at dodge ball. But I did get really good at martial arts for a short while and got my second degree black belt. Things change. Every day is another chance to turn this car around and go down a different road.

Come on, tell me your darkest day (about writing or work or romance or whatever you like) and how it turned out okay. Because if you’re around to read this, it turned out okay. You have a chance to do something different this time.


2 thoughts on “Writing and Dodge Ball

  1. anny cook says:

    Every single one of us is that geeky girl on any given day of the week. I’ve watched fellow writers and friends blossom and move on. I’m incredibly happy for them. Does that sound too zenish?

    Here’s what I think. Everyone of us is also a success. Maybe not in the arena we’re striving in, but somewhere, somehow, we’re important. And if I’m never a famous author, then that is my lot in life. In the meantime as a critique partner, I’ve had a hand in helping my friends move on.

  2. ciarcullen says:

    Of course, Anny. I keep telling people that if you measure yourself as a person based on how your writing career is going, you’re in for a bumpy, wasteful ride. This really hit me–when my brother lay close to death and had a liver transplant, and he eventually recovered, as much as he will–these things don’t last long. He is truly living his life. He does theater, and if that’s not going well, he does something else. But he really lives. Not angsting over every little error, not judging himself as a success or failure with each move… It has changed my perspective. At least today.
    xoxoxo Anny

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