Writerly Types and Bullies

You’d have to be a hermit not to know what a hot topic bullying is these days. I’ve thought back to my school days often, and realized that being a rather nondescript, heterosexual female growing up in the sixties, I maybe lucked out. I don’t remember even knowing a bully.

That changed a bit when I entered the workforce, and a mild, consentual form of bullying became part and parcel of a paycheck.

Now, as I write mostly romances and mostly in a vacuum, I  understand that my isolation is largely a reaction to what I’ll call Romance Bullying. I’m sure it happens in every genre, and probably in every interest niche. I used to visit several blogs, groups, etc. A few were wonderful collegial spots to network and get support. But at some point–each became an incubator for bullies. Those (mostly female) know-it-alls who have something to teach, some axe to grind, some trouble to start. Boil it down to the simplest element, and I’d say it’s insecurity made brave by the electronic distance. Heat-seeking unguided missiles of anger.

When I stopped visiting sites that once interested me, including Dear Author, SBTB, Writer Beware, to avoid the noise that was sucking up my time and energy, I was down to Twitter and Facebook. Not great places to get support and give it.

So it’s struck me that I’ve gone to my corner to write in silence and peace, and that I’m giving up a lot in isolating myself. I think the next step is to find three-dimensional humans, locally. Because while it’s pretty easy to bully in the schoolyard, it would be very hard to look me in the face and push me around. And truth be told, it would be hard for me to do the same back.

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6 thoughts on “Writerly Types and Bullies

  1. Anyone who would bully you is a idiot.

    You are one of the coolest ladies I know.

    And I agree. Try meetup.com . LOTS of fabulous groups there!!

  2. oops. I forgot there was HTML on this thing. I know it’s supposed to be ‘an’ before ‘idiot’ but I had inserted something and it didn’t show up. Maybe a good thing….hehe

  3. ciarcullen says:

    Thanks, back atcha. And of course, I’ll hear about this, but I did mean that I’m not aiming this necessarily at the owners/moderators of any site, but the trolls who lurk there often.

  4. I thinned my blog feed down considerably over the past year. I’m in a much better mood because of it!

  5. laughingwolf says:

    good plan, terry

    even at my current 6’4″ and some 250 lb, yahoos still try to bully me, to my face… as soon as they see i’m not remotely worried, and even growl back, they quickly tuck tail and try to befriend… as if i would after theur initial bs…

    for the most part, since my kids are now adults, it’s mostly me and my dog, but, being a pup, he tries to boss me… on occasion :O lol

  6. anny cook says:

    Yes, that’s kind of happened to me, also. More and more isolated. Tired of all the foul language and believe-what-I-believe-or-else. Thank you for illuminating the issue for me. I was getting depressed about it. Now, I just figure things are healthier for me this way. 🙂

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